The top reasons to Vote No in the Marriage Equality referendum on May 22nd.
- The sacred sanctity of marriage will be ruined.
Gay marriage will render straight marriage meaningless, and will ruin the special meaning of marriage – two people coming together in love to spend the rest of their lives together. Think about the sanctity of Britney Spears’ 55 hour marriage and Kim Kardashian’s 72 day marriage – the meaning and love behind those marriages would be destroyed!
2. Being gay is not natural, therefore gay marriage is not natural.
In life, we tend to reject all unnatural things – such as painkillers, air conditioning, water filtration, glasses and footballs.
3. Gay marriage will encourage more people to become gay.
This will work in the same way as hanging around red haired people will turn you ginger, and hanging around Ryan Tubridy will make you socially awkward.
4. Gay marriage is not backed by religion.
In modern Ireland, we impose the rules of one religion on the entire country. That is why we only have one religion in Ireland. It is also the reason why nobody works on Sundays and everyone waits until marriage to have sex.
5. Gay parents will raise gay children.
It goes without saying, straight parents raise straight children. Gay people actually grow out of the leftover fabric from Madonna’s cape (ref: see Brits 2015).
6. A child needs a male and female role model growing up.
That is why Ireland forbids single parents to raise children. How dare they be so selfish?
7. Gay marriage will shake society to its knees and change the world we live in forever.
That’s why we never really took to that fad of “cars”, or the “iPhone” craze never really took off. What is a Hoover anyway?